Sunday, February 3, 2008

Just Messin' With Ya, Bro

Did you ever feel like you were going along with your day, things are going just fine, pretty well in fact, but someone attempts to ruin it by "messin' with ya"? Here's what I'm talking about. At work, I'm with a bunch of guys who range from boring to cool to just plain annoying. The amount of people worth talking to there is smaller than I would hope. I notice though that those that speak up sometimes have a tendency to say something not just rude but sometimes offensive. Of course it depends on the context. I've got at least one guy at work that we go back and forth with the same daily in-jokes about me being Jewish and him being Indian. He jokes about Hitler and stuff, and I joke about, well less effectively him being a tech support guy (which he actually isn't, just quality assurance, yes that's much better than being tech support, no dealing with customers, just us developers). Maybe we're just on the same wavelength of humor because we've each got an understanding that while we're sort of jabbing back and forth, it's completely not meant to be offensive at all. Could be that the way it's said, it's clearly just said to be funny but not at each other's expense. There's laughing immediately on both sides so there must be something to that. Basically we're both well aware that we aren't really making fun of each other's culture.

But then I encounter some other people, including one guy who works right next to me. He's the type that just offhandedly will make fun of someone and then quickly back it off. Something like "Well, if the code doesn't work I'm sure Bob broke it. Oh hey Bob, didn't see you there." And in this context, of course he knew Bob was there the whole time. It's joking for sure, but it's every single day and endless. That's of course a very mild version of what I'm talking about. On a near daily basis, it seems someone there always has to make a remark that either slightly or strongly makes fun of me or others. I'll admit, I can be kind of sensitive to this stuff, and I know I shouldn't be. I know if I say something like that, I want it to be clear that there's no way I mean true offense if possible. But some of these guys just throw it out there and move on. Hell I was made fun of for using "big words" as it were, apparently having a vocabulary is taboo in engineering, go figure.

I'm not trying to blow this out of proportion though, I'm well aware that this is VERY small stuff. Over time it can get to you, but I often ignore it and just do my best to brush it off. I don't often retaliate unless I know we're clearly in sync that we're both just making jokes, but not directly at someone's offense (hopefully what I'm trying to say is clear, I can't think of any other good examples). What I'm wondering is, why do people feel the need to do this? Breaking up the monotony of the day with humor is expected, but why is the most common desire to do it at someone else's expense? I even went grocery shopping today and had the bagger make fun of the fact that I was buying lean cuisine or low fat things. Apparently he thought the idea of trying to eat right or lose weight is either funny, stupid, or something I'm not aware of. Sure the kid was either in high school or he was of younger college age, someone I could actually see making fun of me if we were in high school together.

Oh that's another thing. I'm trying not to make this too personal but it's hard not to. In grade school I often felt like a target for these kinds of things. Sure I was nerdy and did well, so I get that dumb kids wouldn't like that and acted accordingly. But this kind of thing has always seemingly been around me. Are there just that many dumb fools running around or is it something about me? If so I'd sure like to know. Ah maybe I'm being paranoid. It's just something I've observed lately and I thought I'd point it out. Obviously I'm not going to let it bother me that much, I've got more important things to do.

This is just one of those life observations that makes you think (and sometimes worry about the human race). Maybe this is odd coming from me, but if people were nicer to each other (and that goes for me, too), maybe society as a whole would improve. Can't we all just get along?

2 comments:

Adam Entertainment said...

I like giving people a hard time. Emily has remarked that I love to give her a hard time and she loves to give me a hard time back. But there is a difference between doing that in good humor and just plain insulting.

People like the bagger and your coworker, they are making fun/insulting you so they, in some small way, feel better about themselves. Yes, that is the cliched answer, but it is the truth. They don't know you well enough (especially the bagger) to joke around like that if they truly were joking around. They are just being mean, consciously or not.

But I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Some people are just idiots.

Gonch In Goal said...

Thanks, yeah I know not to sweat it. It's hard to not feel like I can do it sometimes, too. I know I'm not happy with myself when I'm not nicer to people and/or feel like I have to act that way to just be in the mix of the conversation.

Unfortunately, people can be idiots as you said, especially the immature. I've got to learn to read people better.